When parents separate or divorce, especially when there is conflict, the children are often unwittingly caught in the middle. Visits with parents, and the location where those visits take place, can be a problem. For children of divorce in the Brantford area, Dalhousie Place provides neutral ground for children and parents to meet.
Dalhousie Place is a supervised access centre. Primarily used in high-conflict divorce or separation situations, it is a safe, neutral location for visits and exchanges between children and their parents or guardians. High-conflict situations, where supervised visits or exchanges are necessary, can happen for various reasons. One parent may have concerns regarding unsupervised visits; conflict can arise at the time of exchange; drugs, alcohol, domestic violence or the fear of abduction can also be concerns.
“We provide a buffer zone between parents, and we help to put the needs of the children first,” said Valya Roberts, Executive Director of Dalhousie Place. “We also help so the family can continue to have a relationship while keeping everyone safe.”
Children experiencing high-conflict separation and divorce situations have been shown to be more likely to perform poorly at school and have self-esteem issues. They are often caught in a tug-of-war with parents, in which their needs are not always thought of first. For those kids, Dalhousie Place acts as a safe-haven where they can feel at ease.
Dalhousie Place identified a need to develop a more child-friendly process to introduce, or intake, children into the program. But, none of the other supervised access centres across Ontario had a child-specific intake process for them to learn from. They also knew that they didn’t have existing resources required to develop one, so they approached the Ontario Trillium Foundation to help. With OTF funding, Dalhousie Place hired a child and youth worker and developed an orientation and child-focused intake process. An information package for parents and children including a DVD to explain the process was developed. The entire package outlines for the family, but especially the children, exactly what is going to happen at the centre and what they can expect. It gives children an advanced understanding, and it gives parents an opportunity to recognize and consider the rights and needs of the children. The package is also used for staff and volunteers, to better equip them when working with the children.
“Thanks to OTF funding, and the new intake process, we’ve seen a major decrease in what we call our child refusals -- where children will refuse or be very upset about coming to the centre,” said Roberts. “Before we developed the system it was all about the parents and their difficulties and anguish, which the kids would pick up on. Now we take the opportunity to let the children know what’s going on, by gently introducing them to the supervised program.”
“The biggest impact we’ve seen is that the children are more emotionally prepared for the visit. We’re able to deal with a lot of their fears before they arrive. Now the kids understand, which makes it easier on everyone.”
The new process put the focus back on the kids, and has become a pilot for the Ontario-wide system. Dalhousie Place was able to share everything that they developed with other centres across the province, and it was presented as a model at a conference in the United States (US). Now, in all court districts in Ontario, and some places in the US, children are benefiting as a result.
Now that the new process is developed, Dalhousie Place has a foundation to build on. They are improving their programs by listening to the needs of children and evolving as a result. Thanks to OTF funding, they will be able to continue to provide children and families with support, tools and resources and be the calm in the eye of the storm.